Keeping it Real - For Kids! (and adults)
Keeping it Real
by Ashman Roonz
Sometimes the most profound truths need the simplest language. The Three Magic Questions takes the same architecture that explains quantum mechanics, consciousness, and AI safety—and distills it into something a 9-year-old can use immediately. But here's the thing: if you're an adult who's ever felt manipulated, gaslit, or confused by contradictory information, these three questions will clarify things you've struggled with for years. Read it with your kids. Read it for yourself. Read it to remember what you always knew but forgot how to articulate.
The Three Magic Questions - A Story About What Makes Things Real
A children's guide to truth, fairness, and staying true to yourself
Click here for the Adult version: From Coercion to Consent: A Guide to Recognizing and Responding to Manipulative Communication
The Beginning: Where Ideas Come From
Have you ever wondered why some ideas stick around and others disappear?
Why some stories feel true and others feel... off?
Why sometimes you just know something isn't right, even if you can't explain why?
This is the story of three magic questions that help you figure out what's real.
The Garden of Possibilities
Imagine a magical garden where every idea that could ever exist grows like seeds.
Good ideas and bad ideas. True stories and made-up stories. Fair rules and unfair rules. All mixed together.
Every day, some of these seeds try to grow in your mind. In everyone's mind.
But here's the secret: Not every seed should grow.
Some seeds are beautiful flowers. Some are poisonous weeds.
How do you know which is which?
You use the Three Magic Questions.
The First Question: Is It Fair? (Interface)
Imagine your friend says: "Let's trade! Give me your best toy and I'll give you this broken pencil."
Something feels wrong, right?
The First Question is: Is this fair to everyone?
It's like checking:
- Does everyone agree? (Not being forced)
- Is anyone lying about what's being traded?
- Would both people be happy if they knew the whole truth?
If it's not fair, you can say NO.
And "no" is a complete answer. You don't need a big reason. "No" is enough.
Examples from Your Life
Fair:
- "Want to play tag? Everyone who wants to can join!"
- "I borrowed your crayon. Here it is back. Thanks!"
- "I don't understand what you mean. Can you explain it differently?"
Not Fair:
- "If you don't give me your snack, I won't be your friend anymore." (That's forcing)
- "I never said I'd give it back!" (When you did say that - that's lying)
- "You HAVE to play my game." (No one HAS to do anything)
Your Response: "That's not fair. I'm not doing that."
Simple. Clear. Done.
The Second Question: Does It Make Sense? (Center)
Imagine someone says: "I'm the best runner in school! But also, I never practice running."
Hmm. Something doesn't fit, right? The two parts contradict each other.
The Second Question is: Does this make sense with itself?
It's like checking:
- Do the pieces fit together?
- Does it match what was said before?
- Can I understand it without getting confused?
If the pieces don't fit, something's wrong.
Examples from Your Life
Makes Sense:
- "I practice piano every day, so I'm getting better."
- "I said I'd help, and I did."
- "I was wrong before. Now I understand better."
Doesn't Make Sense:
- "I'll be there at 3... or maybe 4... or whenever I feel like it." (Which is it?)
- "I never eat candy!" while eating candy (Contradiction!)
- "Give me that toy! But I'm not being mean..." (Yes, you are)
Your Response: "That doesn't make sense. Can you say what you mean in one clear sentence?"
The Third Question: Does It Match Reality? (Evidence)
Imagine someone says: "I can fly! But only when no one's watching."
You can't test it. You can't see it. It's impossible to check.
The Third Question is: Does this match what actually happens?
It's like checking:
- Can I see it or test it?
- Has it actually worked before?
- Does it help me understand the world better?
If you can't check it, you don't have to believe it.
And here's something important: Does it help you? If a belief makes your life better, helps you make good choices, helps you take care of yourself - that's evidence it's useful.
If a belief makes you scared, confused, or makes bad things happen - that's evidence it's not true, even if it sounds nice.
Examples from Your Life
Matches Reality:
- "When I water the plant, it grows." (You can see it!)
- "If I study, I do better on tests." (You can test it!)
- "Being kind to my friend makes them happy." (You can see the smile!)
Doesn't Match Reality:
- "There's a monster under your bed." (Check - is there? No.)
- "You'll fail at everything." (Have you? No. So it's not true.)
- "This magic crystal will make you fly." (Try it - does it work? No.)
Your Response: "Let's check. What actually happened?"
Or: "Does believing this help me, or hurt me?"
All Three Together: The Truth Test
Now here's where it gets really cool.
For something to be true and real, it has to pass ALL THREE questions:
- Is it fair? (Do people agree? No forcing?)
- Does it make sense? (Do the pieces fit together?)
- Does it match reality? (Can we check it? Does it help?)
If even ONE question gets a "no," then you don't have to accept it.
This is your superpower. It protects you from:
- People being mean
- People lying
- Getting confused
- Bad ideas taking root
Real-Life Adventures: Using Your Superpower
Adventure 1: The Peer Pressure Dragon
Your friends say: "Everyone's doing it! You have to!"
Check:
- Is it fair? No - I'm being forced, not choosing.
- Does it make sense? No - "everyone" isn't really everyone, and I don't "have to."
- Does it match reality? Let me check - is this actually good for me?
Your response: "I'm not doing that. Want to do something else instead?"
Adventure 2: The Contradiction Goblin
Someone says: "I'm your friend! But give me your stuff and do what I say or I'll be mean to you."
Check:
- Is it fair? No - real friends don't force or threaten.
- Does it make sense? No - the two parts contradict. Friends don't threaten.
- Does it match reality? What actually happens? Do I feel good around them? No.
Your response: "That's not how friends act. I'm not doing that."
Adventure 3: The Gaslighting Wizard
Someone says: "You never told me that!" (But you did. You remember clearly.)
Check:
- Is it fair? No - they're lying about what happened.
- Does it make sense? No - it contradicts my clear memory.
- Does it match reality? I remember exactly what I said. I can trust my memory.
Your response: "Yes, I did. I remember saying it."
If they keep insisting, you can walk away. You don't have to convince them. You know what you experienced.
The Same Pattern Everywhere
Want to know something amazing? These three questions work EVERYWHERE.
In nature:
- Plants need: sunlight (fair exchange), roots (staying stable), and water (matching what they need)
- All three parts working together = the plant grows
In friendships:
- Both people agree to be friends (fair)
- You both act like friends consistently (makes sense)
- You actually enjoy each other (matches reality - it works!)
- All three parts working = real friendship
In learning:
- You choose to learn (fair - not forced)
- The lesson doesn't contradict itself (makes sense)
- You can try it and see it work (matches reality)
- All three parts working = you really learn
Even in your body:
- Your cells ask permission before taking resources (fair)
- Your body parts work together without fighting (makes sense)
- Everything matches what your body needs (matches reality)
- All three parts working = you're healthy
It's the same pattern at every level. Like a spiral that repeats everywhere you look.
Your Special Center
Inside you, there's something that stays the same even when everything else changes.
When you were a baby, you were you.
When you're a kid, you're you.
When you grow up, you'll still be you.
That steady "you" is called your center.
It's the part that:
- Knows what you like and don't like
- Remembers what happened
- Makes choices
- Checks those three questions
Your center can learn new things, change your mind, grow and change - but you're always you.
Protecting your center means:
- Not letting people force ideas into your mind
- Keeping your memories clear (not letting people tell you that things didn't happen when they did)
- Making your own choices
- Staying true to yourself
When someone tries to confuse you, scare you, or make you doubt yourself, they're attacking your center.
You can protect it by using the Three Questions.
How to Practice
Every day, try this:
When someone asks you to do something or believe something, pause and ask yourself:
- Fair Check: "Do I agree to this? Is anyone being forced or tricked?"
- Sense Check: "Does this fit together? Is it clear?"
- Reality Check: "Is this true? Does it help me?"
All three pass? You can say yes.
Any one fails? You can say no.
It's okay to:
- Say "I need to think about it"
- Say "No thanks"
- Say "That doesn't make sense to me"
- Ask questions until you understand
You don't need to be rude. But you can be clear.
When You Make Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes. Even grown-ups. Even people using the Three Questions.
When you realize you were wrong about something:
- That's GOOD! It means you're learning!
- Say "I was wrong. Now I understand better."
- Update what you believe.
- Keep going.
Changing your mind when you get new information isn't weak. It's smart.
The Three Questions aren't about being perfect. They're about:
- Staying curious
- Checking carefully
- Being honest
- Growing wiser
The Growing Braid
Imagine your life is like braiding hair or rope.
You take three strands:
- Fair (Interface)
- Makes Sense (Center)
- Real (Evidence)
And you braid them together, over and over, day by day.
Each time you use the Three Questions and only let through what's true, your braid gets stronger.
Each time someone tries to force something false through, and you say "no," your braid stays strong.
This is how you build a life that's true and real.
Not perfect. Not knowing everything. But honest, strong, and really yours.
Your Mission (If You Choose to Accept It)
You now know the Three Magic Questions.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it:
This week:
- When someone says something that feels off, use one question to check it
- Practice saying "no" to something unfair
- Notice when something doesn't make sense and ask about it
This month:
- Use all three questions when making a decision
- Help a friend check something with the questions
- Share the questions with someone who might need them
This year:
- Make the questions automatic - you just check naturally
- Build friendships where everyone uses fair checking
- Help make your world a place where truth matters
The Secret About Growing Up
Want to know a secret about grown-ups?
Some of them forgot the Three Questions.
They:
- Let people force them to do things they don't want
- Believe things that don't make sense
- Accept stories that don't match reality
- Think they have to say yes when they want to say no
You don't have to forget.
You can keep checking:
- Is it fair?
- Does it make sense?
- Is it real?
Kids who remember these questions grow up to be adults who:
- Can't be manipulated
- Make good decisions
- Help others
- Build things that last
- Live lives that feel true
That could be you.
The End (Which Is Really the Beginning)
You now have the Three Magic Questions:
1. Is it fair?
2. Does it make sense?
3. Is it real?
Use them to:
- Protect yourself
- Find truth
- Make good choices
- Help others
- Stay true to you
The same pattern works everywhere - in nature, in friendships, in learning, in life.
You're part of the pattern now.
Every true thing you let through makes the world a little more real.
Every false thing you stop makes everyone a little safer.
This is your superpower.
Use it wisely. Use it bravely. Use it kindly.
And watch how much stronger you become.
The Three Magic Questions:
✨ Is it fair?
✨ Does it make sense?
✨ Is it real?
If all three say YES, it's probably true.
If even one says NO, you can say no too.
Remember: You're allowed to check. You're allowed to question. You're allowed to say no.
That's not being difficult. That's being wise.
The Beginning of Your Adventure
